I'm so...cold...

Okay, here's the thing: I am generally a fairly patient and optimistic person. Really. My glasses are all full *of cool, cool delicious milk...mmmm*, my clouds are all shiny, I've got a bluebird on my shoulder *actually, no, because that would be scary, but metaphorically*--all that jazz. HOWEVER, if the rain does not ceases very, very soon, my brain is actually going to explode. Everywhere. Like a mashed potato volcano. Or just...a volcano. And when it explodes, it is going to explode is such a way that each particle of my brain goo will become an unstoppable mini-killing machine, complete with tentacles and googly eyes, and no one will survive. So please, for all of our sake's, someone shut off the rain. Someone just take a gigantic wrench and turn off that tap in the sky. I'm begging you. Everything smells like wet dog because apparently wet college student and wet dog=pretty much the same thing. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. Hampshire Admissions, I've thought about this long and hard, and I have a proposition for you: let's just move Hampshire to the location displayed below:

Seriously, let's just pack up and go there. Someone can just figure out a way to move all the buildings to Tahiti as their Div III and we'll be golden. No one will even know the difference--we can even bring some sheep and some lesbians so people think it's still in the Valley. It's totally a fool-proof idea. There's no chance on it going utterly, utterly, horribly wrong. None.
If this rain continues until Hampshire Halloween, I am switching my costume from punk Harry Potter to slug person. I will give up on sunlight and live in the earth and avoid salty foods. TAKE THAT, RAIN MAN.